Gay-affirming Churches Are Creating a Culture of Acceptance

FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. — Erik Creekmore stopped going to church when he was 15. That was when he heard his pastor condemn gay people in a sermon filled with anger and hatred. 

“He said they didn’t deserve love and they were going straight to hell,” Creekmore said. 

Creekmore identifies as gay. Even at 15, long before he told his parents, Creekmore knew he was the type of person his church would not accept. 

“I was sitting in a church where everyone hated me for something that I did not choose,” he said.

Erik Creekmore, 25, in Starbucks April 2. Creekmore works as a registered medical assistant. Photo by Mary Katherine Shapiro.

Christian churches have condemned homosexuality for hundreds of years. However, some members of the LGBTQ community have found acceptance in gay-affirming churches. Creekmore has found a place to heal the hurt and remove the hate experienced in the church. He has found a community at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church and is being confirmed in May. 

Discovering a New Identity

Creekmore said at 13, the feeling that he was different hit him “like a ton of bricks.”

He said he remembers seeing boys, realizing he was attracted to them and thinking, “oh no, that’s not good.”

The weight of this realization was made heavier by the shame surrounding homosexuality in Creekmore’s church.

“I was taught that God was vengeful and hated certain people,” he said. “God was a person to be feared and if you weren’t a certain way then he didn’t love you.”

He was afraid to tell his family and friends, but as he was researching his new identity online he came across a chat room. This chat room provided a supportive community for Creekmore at a time when he felt hated and unloved. He said it was nice to know that other people were feeling the same things he was feeling.

“I didn’t feel so isolated,” he said.

He waited to tell his family until he was 18. He prepared for the worst. He had a job so that if his family kicked him out he would be able to support himself.

“I felt like a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders, but I was terrified at the same time because you don’t know what the result is going to be,” he said.

Creekmore’s uncle didn’t talk to him for two and a half years. His childhood best friend ended their friendship of eight years. 

The rest of his family was very accepting of his same-sex attraction and he said he considers himself lucky. 

But Creekmore still had not been back to church.

“I felt kind of blind,” Creekmore said.

His Baptist church in Fort Smith had made it clear that he was unwelcome and called him unloved.

“I’ve always held on to religion but that experience made it bitter,” he said.

Without religion in his life, Creekmore said he felt like he was “lost in the wilderness for a very long time, stumbling around.”

A New Beginning

Creekmore went moved to Fayetteville three years ago.

And at 23 he went back to church.

In 2016, after the Pulse shooting in Orlando, Florida, St. Paul’s Episcopal Church had a candlelight vigil and Creekmore decided to go.

“That was the first time I had been in a church in years, and it was the first time I felt comfortable,” Creekmore said.

After that service, Creekmore did more research on the Episcopal church and began attending regularly.

He said that St. Paul’s teaches what he thinks Christianity should teach: loving everyone without judgment.

“It has completely changed my idea of Christianity,” he said. “Instead of fire and brimstone and hate, it was the shedding of hate and the acceptance of everyone.”

Accepted

Rev. Evan Garner is the rector at St. Paul’s. He said that St. Paul’s believes that God loves everyone regardless of their gender or sexuality.

Garner said that every three years, leaders from Episcopal churches all over get together at the general convention. There they make decisions and review their beliefs. He said that members of the Episcopal church have always believed in God’s unconditional love, but until recently did not extend that love to members of the LGBTQ community.

St. Paul’s Episcopal Church is located at 224 N East Ave in Fayetteville. St. Paul’s is a gay-affirming church. Photo courtesy of St. Paul’s website.

In 2003 in New Hampshire, Gene Robinson became the first openly gay bishop. Garner said that after that, priests began approving more same-sex unions.

“There are same-sex couples who participate actively in our church,” Garner said.

He said they “serve in leadership positions and do readings in the services.”

“There’s no second class status for them,” Garner said.

“It was like a sheet was taken off my eyes when I discovered the Episcopal church and it is absolutely the best thing I’ve ever done,” he said.

He no longer needs the support of the online chat room that he turned to in his teens. He has found community at St. Paul’s. A community that loves him as he is, instead of trying to change him.

“My church family is very important to me because it provided the structure that I really needed in my life,” Creekmore said.

Garner said he tells people, “if you don’t feel safe or secure in your congregation, come visit us.”

“Now I have refound the path I was meant to be on and I am happy for the first time in a long time,” Creekmore said.

College Life with Anxiety

FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. – Shaky hands. Hyperventilating. Inability to focus on her surroundings. Crying. This is what an anxiety attack feels like for Allyson Burciaga.

Burciaga is a sophomore at the University of Arkansas, studying psychology. Her anxiety frequently happens during social interactions which make parts of college difficult. She often feels isolated and struggled to make friends.

“It’s hard not to feel stupid for needing help with things that other people see as really simple,” Burciaga said.

Burciaga was one of 179,964 college students last year who attended counseling for mental health concerns, according to the Center for Collegiate Mental Health. A survey from the American Psychological Association said that anxiety is the top concern among college students. In the past seven years, the number of college students seeking counseling for mental health has increased from 46 percent to 54.4 percent, according to the CCMH survey.

Burciaga is not alone.

Burciaga said that in three of her classes this semester students were asked to find a group on the first day. Because of her social anxiety, she doesn’t like approaching people and this was very difficult for her.

“In college, you are in different classes with different people every day you don’t get the chance to become comfortable with people as easily,” she said.

Burciaga said one of her professors was dismissive towards her anxiety and told her that she was an adult in college and should just “get over it.”

“I felt put down because I felt like he was calling me a child for my anxiety when in reality I just don’t know how to approach people confidently,” she said.

Allyson Burciaga at Arsagas on campus Feb. 25. Burciaga discovered she had anxiety when she was 17 years old. She is a sophomore at the U of A, majoring in psychology.

Universities are having a difficult time keeping up with the increasing demand for mental health services. Although the U of A offers resources, in some cases, it is still not enough to meet the needs of the students.

When students come to Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) for the first time, they have an initial intake assessment and then are connected to resources. Students can attend group sessions and workshops for free or see a counselor one-on-one for $20 a session. Students who live on campus can see counselors in residence halls for free.

Kendra Glasper, mental health clinician and outreach coordinator, has worked at Pat Walker for three years. She sees the increasing number of college students who are seeking help for anxiety. She sees 17 clients every week. In addition, every Wednesday she has 10 intake appointments for new clients.

“Workshops and groups most beneficial for students with anxiety because they provide a space where they learn coping skills ways to manage it,” Glasper said.

CAPS is a part of the Pat Walker Health Center. CAPS is located on the second floor and offers mental health resources to students.

Glasper said there are many stressors associated with college that can increase a student’s anxiety. Most of the time students come to college with anxiety already, she said. Then they are on their own for the first time. That responsibility combined with financial stress can add to their anxiety.

Freshman Grace Scognamiglio said that large amounts of school work make her really anxious.

“During intense test weeks where I have a paper or test in every class, I close myself off from everything and don’t eat because I’m so stressed,” she said.

In addition to schoolwork, socializing outside of school is impacted by her anxiety as well.

“It’s very stressful when my anxiety gets bad around my friends who I haven’t told yet,” Scognamiglio said. “I feel like I have to hide it.”

Sophomore Paige McGaughy agreed that college is harder with anxiety.

“Going to class every day, I have no clue what to expect and that freaks me out,” McGaughy said. “It feels like I have extra weight on my shoulders that people don’t know about.”

McGaughy said having class on only Tuesdays and Thursdays has helped her curb her anxiety.

“It makes it much more manageable for me,” she said.

Scognamiglio said she went to Pat Walker last week and it was helpful. She said she is planning on going to group therapy sessions about anxiety.

While Pat Walker offers great resources for freshman students, sophomores and upperclassmen are more limited.

“I went to CAPS counseling my first year of college and it was completely free as an on-campus student,” McGaughy said. “I was unable to return to the program this year as they prioritize freshman. I have considered going to a counselor off-campus but I currently don’t have enough free time or money to do so.”

McGaughy said that Pat Walker should try to accommodate upperclassmen too.

Burciaga does not go to Pat Walker for her anxiety. She said that it was too expensive and did not work for what she needed. She sees a therapist who has helped her manage her anxiety and given her ways to ground herself during an anxiety attack.

She is a first-generation college student and she said that her family in Mexico reminds her why she’s going to school.

“They help motivate me,” she said.

Burciaga said that continuing to talk about mental health will help remove the stigma around it. She said it is important to listen when people speak to try to understand how anxiety and depression impact their lives.

A New Voice on City Council

FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. – It’s 5:30 p.m. Tuesday night and Sonia Gutierrez sits down on the left side of the semicircle of chairs. Mayor Lioneld Jordan begins to read the meeting agenda. She sits in between Sarah Marsh and Susan Norton. On the table in front of her, a sign reads Ward 1, Position 1. Sonia Gutierrez, 44, is the first Latinx to be elected to the Fayetteville city council.

“I was just in shock and overwhelmed and so incredibly humbled,” she said.

Gutierrez said this is huge for the Latinx community and they are counting on her to be their voice.

According to the Northwest Arkansas Council’s Diversity report, the Hispanic/Latinx population in Fayetteville was 6,452 people in 2017.

“I feel that we need to increase diversity in our city committees and boards. The Latinx community has a variety of needs,” she said. “Some of us were born here while others were not. My focus is that we invite all people to the table and actively ask ourselves who is missing.”

Her main goal for the Latinx community is to be a mentor and example. She wants to show them that they can run for office, get involved, and make their voice heard.

Sonia Gutierrez holds Ward 1, Position 1 on the Fayetteville city council. She has lived in Fayetteville since 2003.

Gutierrez won with 571 votes (67 percent) in a runoff election in December.

How did she win the election? She thinks it was the deer.

While Gutierrez is in office, she has five main initiatives she wants to focus on: affordable housing, discouraging infill that doesn’t fit in neighborhoods, homelessness, traffic and deer.

She came up with her initiatives by talking to people in the city. Deer in Fayetteville have been eating plants in people’s yards and causing car accidents. Gutierrez said she thought people would think she was crazy when they saw deer as a part of her platform, but it worked. She laughed as she said that people still email her thanking her for addressing the deer issue.

To reach these goals, Gutierrez said she was going to start planning quarterly meetings within the ward to report progress and stay on track. She wants these meetings to be a “State of the Ward Address” where she will update residents and listen to concerns they have about their neighborhood. 

Gutierrez said she wants to keep Fayetteville financially fit, friendly and funky. These ideas revolved around the city economy, inclusivity of all people and embracing the local arts and business scene.

To keep Fayetteville financially fit, She plans to “support a healthy ecosystem of businesses, organizations, and individuals that share the values of Fayetteville—people and environment,” she said.

The friendly part of her platform revolves around inclusivity for people of all ages, backgrounds, abilities and income levels. She said she wants “ all people to be involved in city government so that all voices are represented.”

Gutierrez said she wants to support the growth of arts and culture to keep Fayetteville memorable and funky. She also said she supports local businesses and wants to protect the “curb appeal” of Fayetteville.

Gutierrez has not always called Fayetteville home. Before she was 5 years old, she had lived in Texas, Puerto Rico and New Orleans. She moved to Arkansas in 1980 and started college at the University of Arkansas in 1992.

Living in many different places instilled a love of travel in Gutierrez. She spent her junior year studying abroad in Europe. This experience had a big impact on her life. Things she learned studying abroad are still applicable in her life today.

“I learned to be open to cultures and art and people,” she said.

She attended graduate school in New York City to study design. After 9/11, she realized she wanted to be closer to her family. She decided she could be close to her family while still pursuing her dreams. Gutierrez moved back to Arkansas and opened New Design School, the first design school in Arkansas, in 2003.

Her interest in local government began in 2009 when Mayor Lioneld Jordan asked her to lead the Creative Economy Action Group in Fayetteville. This group brings together people involved in business and creative groups to help shape public policy. This experience gave Gutierrez the desire to run for city council.

The campaign process was intense, Gutierrez said with a sigh.

“I think I pretty much ran the rest of my campaign from my phone, horizontal in my bed because I was so exhausted.” She had been campaigning since January 2018.

Since the election, Gutierrez said she has received nothing but positive feedback from the community, and that the people of Fayetteville are thrilled to have added ethnic diversity to their city council.

Mayor Lioneld Jordan said he asked Gutierrez to lead the group because he was confident in her ability to represent the city well. He said that he is thrilled that she has been elected to this position.

“It’s an honor to know her,” Jordan said.

Other city council members, such as Sloan Scroggin, Ward 3, are looking forward to working with Gutierrez. Sarah Bunch, Ward 3, had a similar opinion.

“I think she’s going to be a good representative of her city and her ward,” she said.

At the February 5 city council meeting, Gutierrez voted against an ordinance to rezone property on Starr Drive for residential single-family units.

Gutierrez votes against rezoning requests at the city council meeting February 5. She said she wants to focus on discouraging infill that doesn’t fit in neighborhoods.

“I voted against the rezoning requests because I campaigned on being tougher on adding denser development in single-family neighborhoods. I am siding with the residents who don’t want businesses and apartments in the middle of their neighborhoods,” she said.

Gutierrez loves Fayetteville. She will continue to be a voice for the Latinx community and inspire them to speak out.